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How to Make Sure Praise Sticks: Four Steps to Make Praise Hit Harder

5/19/2016

 
A few weeks back a client asked me a question I'd never really considered. He asked me how to praise his teachers and make it stick. See, his staff is the humble kind that might appreciate the praise but not internalize how amazing they actually are. How do you make it hit harder?

Anyone can praise, but only great managers do it in a way that hits to the core.

Below are four simple rules to follow:
  1. Break the norm.
  2. Do it one-on-one.
  3. Specific and outcome-based.
  4. Tie it to a reward.

​1. Break the norm.
When do you expect to be praised and by whom? Typically, you can see praise coming from your manager or peers, and usually as part of "shout-outs" at a team meeting or in a check-in. You might expect some praise after an observation or after submitting a deliverable. The key to breaking the norm is to deliver the praise when it's least expected and, perhaps, from a source they wouldn't normally get it from.

For example, how might a teacher feel who normally receives praise from their direct manager or peers if the Principal shows up in their classroom unexpectedly to deliver praise? Or what if a dean who normally gets praise from a school leader receives a note from a student or teacher? Praise outside the norm for more impact.

2. Do it one-on-one.
Group praise is good. One-on-one praise is better. Nothing elevates praise like getting it one-on-one, eye-to-eye, from someone you respect. Why?

When I receive praise as part of a team or a group, I'm more likely to assume the praise is meant for someone else or that my part was smaller than perhaps it actually was in achieving the success. One-on-one praise makes it crystal clear.

3. Specific and outcome-based.
"Great job" is the enemy of effective praise. "Great job" for what exactly? And what made it "great?" Powerful praise identifies:
  • Specifically what the person did or how they are
  • What the impact of their behavior was

If any part of this is missing, the praise lacks impact.


Bad example: "Great job in the meeting today."
Great example: "Nice job summarizing those data points in the team meeting today. I thought you nailed it. You covered all of the key points but made the summaries relatable. Good job."

4. Tie it to a reward.
Ever heard of the Five Love Languages? Don't bail on me yet. The concept is simple but powerful: people appreciate being rewarded in a specific way, and yet we all have the tendency to reward others in the way WE like to be rewarded. The five ways are:
  • Words of affirmation
  • Quality time
  • Acts of service
  • Gifts
  • Physical Touch

Praising verbally is one thing, and will meet the needs of the sliver of staff who thrive on "words of affirmation." But tying verbal praise to a reward takes it to ninja-level.


Does your staff member appreciate quality time? Take them to coffee. Acts of service? Stand in for them in a meeting or teach their class so they can do something else. Gifts? This one's easy -- a gift card or something more meaningful like a framed picture of the team with handwritten notes can go a long way. Even physical touch can be done by combining the verbal praise with a high-five, pat on the back, or fist bump.

Oh, and how do you know which one they prefer? Ask them. Better yet, make it a teambuilder at your next team meeting:

"What is your preferred reward and why?"

​Praise can be a game-changer for boosting morale and performance. If you're going to do it, might as well make it stick.

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    About

    Dustin Peterson launched Proof Leadership as a way to raise the bar for leaders in education. He is a leadership trainer, coach, and the author of Reset: How to Get Paid and Love What You Do.

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    I published Reset: How to Get Paid and Love What You Do as a way to help people get more out of their work. This isn't just a book for job-changers; it's for anyone looking to love what they do on a daily basis.

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